NINJA TRAINING VIDEO #1 This Ninja is practicing what to do if he is pursued to the edge of a cliff by an entire armored division. Surrender is not an option for the Ninja.
	NINJA TRAINING VIDEO #2 These Ninjas are practicing how to kill each other. If a Ninja can kill a Ninja, imagine how easy it would be for them to kill a regular person.
	NINJA TRAINING VIDEO #3 You can see this Ninja's face because he is practicing. If he was in killing mode, he would have a head thing on so all you see are his eyes.
	THROWING STAR You know how if you throw a knife, it's hard to make the sharp side go first? Well, how about six knives all in a circle? Ninjas CAN'T miss.
	SAI Take a Trident. Shrink it down. Then make the thing in the middle longer. This is a Sai. It can be used defensively, or shoved right into someone.
	NUNCHAKU A Ninja will move these all around their body until the enemy is afraid and mesmerized, at which point he will immediately club the person to death.
	KATANA Ninjas prefer to kill people with exotic weapons, but every once in awhile they roll with something traditional.
	TANTO If a Ninja has an off day, he will reflect on what went wrong while cutting himself in half with this.
	TONFA Cops aren't stupid. That's why they adopted this weapon from the Ninja arsenal. Anyone who's ever resisted arrest knows this thing is bad news.
	CROSSBOW A Ninja won't kill people with this. He'll use it to shoot an arrow attached to a rope, then climb to where the people are, then kill them.
	GRAPPLING HOOK All of a sudden, your impenetrable fortress isn't so impenetrable.
	KUSARIFUNDO Forget even trying to figure out what this does, or how it works. Let's just say they'll be needing dental records to even figure out who you are.
	HAND CLAWS At some point in their life, every single Ninja will go flying up the trunk of a conifer tree and fire an arrow into another man's eye. These are for that.
	KAMA If you could fit a grown man into a Cuisinart, imagine what would happen to him. Well, same thing here. Only there's no clear plastic bowl thing to catch the pieces.
	CALTROPS If someone is chasing a Ninja, he will throw these on the floor. Then, when the person falls down screaming, the Ninja will turn around and kill them.
	STEEL WHIP This is not a thing to punish a person or teach them a lesson like a leather whip. The only lesson someone learns from this thing is how to die.
	NINJA SUIT It's day, so you can see this guy. But at night, forget it. Total disappeared Ninja. Why? Because of the black Ninja suit.
	TABI BOOTS How the hell are you supposed to move like a jungle cat and snuff out the lives of everyone you come across with your toes all together?
	NINJA PATCH If a Ninja doesn't have one of these he's full of shit (not a Ninja) so don't listen to him or be scared of fighting him.
	KUBOTON KEYCHAIN A Ninja's job is never done. If he's knocking off for the day, and finds someone sitting on the hood of his car, he will punch them in the neck with this neck-punching keychain.
	ASHIKO Evolution can't keep pace with the Ninja. Instead of waiting millions of years to grow his own special foot claws, he straps on artificial ones right fucking now.
	EAGLE CATCHER Ninjas can show you your own heart before you die, but in order to yank it from your chest in one smooth motion, they must train with this.
	DIT DOW JOW You can't look in a Ninja's medicine cabinet because they will bleed you right there on the bathroom tile if you do. But if you could, this healing lotion would be in there.
	SECTIONED STAFF Let's just say that if a Ninja starts swinging this thing around, in a pet store for instance, every single pet would be killed in five seconds.
	NAGINATA If three enemy warlords were all standing in a single-file line, and a Ninja ran at them with this, the Ninja could easily make a War-lord-kabob.
	BLOWGUN There's nothing worse than thinking you have just been bitten by an insect, and you swat at your neck and find a giant stainless steel dart gushing neurotoxin.
	BUTTERFLY KNIFE Ninjas make these flutter around in the air before you, and you're like "that thing is beautiful," and then your pancreas falls onto the ground.
	IMPROVISED SMOKE DEVICE Ninjas use two techniques to disappear: They throw a smoke bomb and run away, or they kill you and it's like you never saw them in the first place.
	LARGE SCALE ASSAULT PLAN Ninja's don't petition the UN or make a bunch of picket signs when shit doesn't go their way. They identify the source of the problem, and kill everyone.